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They revealed no guile, only joy, innocence and an all-consuming lust for life, things he admired in a woman. “Ella, apart from the fact the former were gangsters and the latter lived almost entirely in Sherwood Forest, I’m not about to go chasing off around the world on one of your whims. Ella was a free spirit and who was he to stand in her way? It would be just after one in the morning where she was, a bit late to be up writing emails on a week night. Not even TV Foxx – it’s Stephen Foxx – but I guess I just wasn’t paying attention. But no, it wasn’t just the casual Americanisms that caused his bottom lip to curl and his nose to wrinkle in displeasure; it was the picture now firmly in his mind of Ella in the arms of a handsome jock with a Texan drawl and gigantic Harley Davidson that was most troubling. So Ella had not had her way with the handsome Texan. Had things gone differently, she might have tormented him with all the intricacies of their tryst, blow by sordid blow.

“We could have adventures together, like Bonnie and Clyde, or Robin Hood and Maid Marian . It’s not me, you know that.” She’d sighed and looked out the window, the dawn light framing her naked body so brilliantly, he thought her divine. I realised my mistake a nanosecond before hitting the send button, but it was too late. He was taken aback by the wave of jealousy that welled up deep inside, if that’s what the ache in the pit of his stomach was, or maybe he just needed to pee. Oliver momentarily considered deleting the email entirely. but no, on second thoughts, he’d find out what she had to say. Make her understand that even though he didn’t expect her to live like a nun, she didn’t have to be explicit; she should show a little consideration. “So he drove me home and do you know, he wouldn’t even kiss me goodnight! “Anyway, I’ve reached the conclusion that Baytown is clearly not where my spirit guide meant for me to be, so getting fired is a good thing really,” she continued.

About a third of women in the UK will have an abortion by the time they are 45.

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Not that he believed in telepathy – that was her territory; that and all the other tele-baloney she’d tried to argue had merit in logic: teletransportation, telekinesis . Ella didn’t believe in curtains; they only blocked the light. “Two months in Baytown is two too many,” she wrote. Poor, dear Ella, he thought; why do you have to make things so complicated for yourself? “I told you about the job I got in this office supplies company – full of bad karma, and the average employee age is about 47 past lives. “The people I worked with were friendly enough, but mostly they went to ball games and sang in church choirs. Then last Thursday this totally awesome dude rocked up at reception with a motorbike helmet in his hands and after he delivered his parcel, he started chatting about my accent and stuff and guess what? And since he was the hottest thing in town and I had nothing better to do, I went.” Oliver resisted the urge to shut the tablet with an unforeseen stab of indignation. Jesus freaks shouldn’t be allowed to seduce innocent people like me with their six-packs and Harley Davidsons.

He remembered the beauty of her milky-white flesh, dishevelled auburn hair tumbling over her shoulders, and most of all, the infinite yearning in those bewitching brown eyes. “Besides, I got fired.” Oliver shook his head in the manner of a parent dealing with a beloved but recalcitrant child. So, having used the computer at work to apply for a job at Fox TV, I accidentally sent it to my boss, whose surname is Foxx. It wasn’t just the American vernacular which had crept into her description that offended most – although this in itself was unacceptable and if she’d ever uttered the words “totally”, “awesome” or “dude” to him in person, he would have remonstrated with her most severely. It’s like mis-selling of goods.” Ah, so he was right about the Harley, Oliver mused, smiling now.

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